parental figures are going to give me an ulcer.

Since when did it become acceptable for a 55 year old mother to start acting like a 14 year old with a temper tantrum?!?! Honestly. First of all, it is not my responsibility to hold up an agreement that she volunteered me for, without my knowing. What is the agreement you might be wondering? To drive her 43 year old knocked up friend 2 ½ hours back to Maryland from the beach because she childishly desires to “run away” from her baby daddy’s older daughters who apparently are treating her with slight disrespect. Be an adult. Stand up for yourself. You don’t need your baby daddy to stand up for you. Are you a deaf mute? No. Speak up, don’t just run to your friend (my mother) and solicit her daughter (me) to drive you home. Unless the dude is beating you and your unborn child, deal with it. Not to mention, I don’t even KNOW this woman. I worked at the bar Friday night, and Saturday night, didn't make any money Saturday night, and drove 2 ½ hours to the beach Sunday morning to put together a dresser and 2 bedside tables, just to drive back that night, on Father’s Day mind you, to visit with my dad, a topic my mother clearly was avoiding. I was exhausted and pulled in 5 different directions, trying to appease my mother.

It went down like this- Mom checks a message, from this woman. With a look of judgmental disgust, my mother informs me (as she listens to the message) that she’s sitting in the middle of a soap opera, and begins to tell me her friend is in a “difficult situation,” and with some judging attitude (toward her friend) tells me her friend just asked if I could drive her home. My mother’s portrayal of the “difficult situation” left me lacking a reason to comply with this strange request. With a scorn on her face, she laced her story with an attitude insinuating how ridiculous this request would be. She calls her friend back and truthfully says that I am not sure what time I’m going back to Maryland (true), and that I need to stop in Laurel first to visit with my dad for Father’s Day (true) and that I’m a little uncomfortable with the request (also true), the whole time backing me up on this.

Side note- we have had an ongoing disagreement regarding the beach house, as it is the “family” house, not just hers, I am an adult, and neither one of us should be asking permission to come down and use the house, as it belongs to her, me, and my brother, equally. In the next few years, the house will go to just my brother and me, and legally, it will be our house, not my mother’s and our house… Because I wanted to coordinate how many beds would be free over 4th of July, I asked if she would be coming down, and she ATTACKS me and accuses me of trying to push her out of the beach house and tell her she’s “not allowed” there because “I’m taking over for me and my friends” to “have wild parties” and shit. Laura can attest to this argument and how it came about, out of the blue, and was completely unwarranted. Now, it’s 2 weeks after this initial blow-out, and I gently decide to bring up the subject, as I still need to find out how many beds are available… I gently say, “Mom, what are your plans for 4th of July? I was thinking of coming down here, do you think you and John will be able to come down?” She said she didn’t know, and acknowledged that I wanted to come down to the beach… so then I very nicely say (because of last time), “Mom, I want you to know, I don’t mind you being here even if my friends are here, I don’t want you to feel excluded or ‘pushed out’,” to which she responds, “well THANKS,” and storms off.

We don’t speak for a while, and begin to put together IKEA furniture in silence- awkward. After a while, I ask how her friend is, and what the deal was- why she had to go home from the beach instead of staying with her baby daddy’s family. (I didn’t say “baby daddy”, I said “husband”)

**As a side note, when my mother is pissed off, she’ll use ANY excuse to pick a fight.**

She EXPLODES and says she doesn’t understand why I would be so “mean” and not drive her friend home, saying how I’m insensitive and ridiculously childish just because I don’t know the woman. I replied, “are you serious?! You even said it was a ridiculous request, and aside from that you volunteered me for it without my knowing?! How is that fair? I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable being obligated to drive someone home, when they only want to go home because they don’t feel like being an adult and dealing with the situation.” My mother continues to accuse me of whatever she can think of, as she’s sitting in the rocking chair and I’m on the floor sweating in the heat, putting together this stupid dresser on the porch, and finally I say, “Mom, just stop talking. You’re being ridiculous.” To that she screams, “WHAT BECAUSE YOU’RE SOOOOOO PERFECT?!?!?!”

What? Where did THAT come from? The rest of the night we didn’t speak. The dresser was assembled. I got french-fries. I calmed down. She still thinks I’m an insensitive bitch that thinks I’m so perfect that I don’t want to help someone and that I just leave her with so much to do on her own, and I never help her with the beach house because I’m never there… she refuses to acknowledge that having 3 jobs can hinder my “beach time”.

Earlier that morning, around 10am, I called my dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day, and ask when he’d like to get together to celebrate, especially since my brother was in town. It went to his voicemail- both house and cell, so I left a message. I told him I had to do some stuff at the beach house, but that I’d be back in time for dinner or something, and to give me a call and let me know what he’d prefer. At 8pm, he called to cheerfully say he and my brother had just ordered dinner, out at a restaurant, and wanted to call and just make sure I wasn’t at his house or on my way there… since he and my brother were out… Ok. I guess he didn’t want to call me earlier and invite me to dinner too… or even on his way to the restaurant… I guess that just wasn’t something he was interested in, you know, spending Father’s Day with both his kids… I guess just the one is good enough. I’m not even going to touch on the subject of this extra car that has surfaced, that my dad is letting my brother use… instead of selling it like he said he would…. Since my brother already HAS a car, and this car is brand new… probably not the best idea to let him borrow it, especially if you want to sell it… and since the money from the car is to be split between us… and I needed the money for SCHOOL and my brother just wants to use it for more car crap. And my brother gets 2 bedrooms- and he doesn’t even LIVE there and I’m going to be moving back home and the 2nd bedroom is still HIS ROOM AND HE’S NOT EVEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I’ll just keep ALL my stuff in my tiny room, and it’ll be cozy because I won’t be able to move because it’s more important to have my brother’s two bedrooms practically empty, because they’re HIS. My dad never invites me to dinner anymore. Even on Easter, I called in the morning to see if we were doing dinner with my grandmother… He called me back, after dinner, to say that they all went out to eat with my grandmother. I swear, I must be invisible. I feel like I’m off the radar from EVERYone.

There was massive traffic this morning, I was an hour late to work, didn’t even get my coffee yet before 4 people were asking me to do stuff, and I can't find my english muffins in the fridge at work because someone threw them away and I'm really hungry now. I need breakfast to function. And WHY on earth does my mother feel the need to call me at 7:30am to ask me about a painting to go in her bedroom???? Do NOT call me that early unless it is an emergency. I’m trying to iron, I don’t iron!!! And I hear my phone go off twice in a row- I’m thinking, something must be wrong. I just spoke to my mother last night, at 11:30pm. Why is she calling me? Did my grandmother die? No. She wants to discuss a painting in her bedroom, and pretend the previous day’s arguments never existed. She asks if I want to see a picture. “No, mom, I don’t. I have to go to work now.” I run to my car, pulling out of the Giant parking lot, because there is never enough parking in the apartment lot, and my phone beeps. I look. She sent me a freaking picture. UGH.