mornings.

Anyone who knows me understands that I am not what you would call a "morning person." I have 3 alarms and still manage to sleep through all of them without knowing. Sleep deprived and "grumpy" to say the least, I get in my car, and travel 25 miles West into Reston, Virginia, along the Capital Beltway and the Dulles Toll Road, paying $2.50 each day in tolls. With morning traffic, it takes me 45 minutes to get to work, relatively painless in the scheme of things. The trip home is more grueling, averaging an hour and a half, usually concluding with my desperate need to pee about 25 minutes from my apartment.

This is probably not good for my health, and I know it's not good for the environment. I'm contributing to pollution and global warming by having this job. Yet another reason for me to quit come the end of July. The more important reason being my need to sit by a pool for a month before I move to Winter Land in Chicago.

Switching gears slightly, coffee has an interesting history... Originated in Ethiopia, and in the 17th century was banned in Turkey for political reasons, and was "associated with rebellious political activities" in Europe. I associate coffee with being able to function on a daily basis at the ass-crack of dawn to converse with middle-aged "adults" with non-existent issues they insist are matters of life and death, in their shiny Lexus SUVs and tricked out BMWs, newly pressed suits and their Coach purses. The topic of the day so far- problems with the au pairs. Give me a fucking break.

In my office, I sit in a 4 quad cubicle area, next to a woman, about 40 years old, who used to be a stay-at-home-mom. Every stupid freaking morning, I walk to my desk, put my stuff down, and before I even turn on my computer, let ALONE have gotten a chance to inject caffeine into my bloodstream via a deliciously hot cup of coffee goodness, I jump at her chipper, perky, high pitched greeting:

Woman (all smiles): "Good Morning Christine! How are you feeling? Did you have a good weekend? Did you work a lot?"

Me (groggy and annoyed): "Hi. Morning. Yes, I worked all weekend."

Woman (all smiles): "Oh well I bet that's good money. Are you tired? Congested? Would you like some tea? I had a good weekend. I'm glad you did too."

wtf. I swear there are rainbows shoved up her butt, I'm surprised she doesn't have sunshiny glow and glitter seeping from her pores in the early morning. This eruption of cheerful perkiness is incredibly difficult for me to deal with and stay polite. Only after I have my coffee, can I attempt to be civil to anyone before noon. She's sitting behind me right now. She just snorted. How lovely.