an mpp in the windy city

Two weekends ago, I went to Chicago for an orientation-visit weekend type of thing, as an introduction to their MPP program. All in all, it was a good weekend. I was apprehensive about the program, and the school definitely did their best to put everyone at ease. They had faculty and alumni panels where we could ask questions about the courses, available research, the curriculum, what the alums found the most beneficial, how are they using their degree now, etc. The campus is beautiful... modeled after Oxford, it definitely screams "Ivy League". The weekend was laced with flashy free stuff, good food, and several events were open bar. Of course, people have asked me, "how was the orientation?" and all I can think of is the food, free stuff, and open bar. Interesting gimmick.

This entire process is scary. The idea of grad school and the program, let alone living in a new city- a cold city- away from everyone... it's starting to sink in. I've gotten over the shock of moving away and living in Chicago. But now that the air is clear, I can clearly look at this public policy program in front of me, and I don't know if this is what I want to do... I don't want to go into policy. I want to be involved in a non-profit, on a tangible level, and see results of my work promote positive social change, health awareness, education programs, and sustainable development projects. Will an MPP put me ahead of the crowd, and help me get into the field of international development? Or will it force me into a position of analyzing the legal language outlined in a policy that will take years to implement, that lobbyists and interest groups throw money and influence at in order to direct the policy in their favor? Another option is a dual M.A. in Public Policy and International Relations, which sounds fancy, but an M.P.P. is a more advanced degree than an M.A. and the entire second year is comprised of electives of my choosing, so I would still get to take most of the international relations and development courses anyway.... the question is, what will look best on my resume?

It all makes me very uncomfortable, but I am purposely forcing myself out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone has officially imploded and dissolved into thin air, which is slightly intimidating. Maybe I should just be an artist.