the secret life

This show (The Secret Life of the American Teenager) is so addicting and corny and almost every other scene my roommate and I look at each other as if to say, "are they for real? Did they really just say that?" A cross between My So-Called Life and 7th Heaven, the story revolves around a pregnant teenager and her boyfriend who wants to marry her (even though it's not his baby and they're 15...) and her father (awful actor) who is cheating on his wife with the slutty teen's mother and the slutty girl is in love with the father of the baby, and all the while there is this intensely religious girl trying to get everyone to love Jesus and she goes on an anti-abortion campaign and the boyfriend's father who owns a sausage shop, actually wants the 15 year-olds to get married!!! It's insane, but I can't get enough. It makes me laugh.

addicted

The thing about Victoria's Secret is that it has sucked me into the black hole of the $10 Angel Reward card. I spend a given amount of money, they send me $10 off my next purchase. This is a genius idea on their part, but a severe problem for my shopping addiction. I have one, sitting in front of me, and as all my friends can attest, I do not need to buy anything more from Victoria... yet I can't throw this $10 card away. It's going to sit on my desk until probably tomorrow. At that point, I will reluctantly drive myself to Victoria's Secret and proceed to spend way more than $10 to merely justify having the free $10. Vicious cycle. And I love it.

eggs

It recently occurred to me that the eggs in the egg carton are not from the same chicken. This means that when I whisk together 2 eggs for an omelet, I am smushing the gooey fetuses of two baby chickens who are not even related! They don't even know each other because they came from 2 different chicken butts probably from 2 different coops, maybe even different farms!!! It's honestly very morbid.

Bring on the oatmeal.

Tonic Immobility on Sharks

Originally aired last July, Michael Rutzen (Sharkman) is able to hypnotize sharks into a sleep-like trance by gently touching them.  When inverted, a shark reaches an almost paralyzed state.

In the below clip, the Sharkman is able to gently massage the nose, causing the shark to practically go limp, allowing him to guide the body upwards to invert the shark, then balancing it on his hand.  In another clip (not attached, you have to watch Shark Week to see it), he touches the animal's nose with both hands, immobilizing it, sending the shark limp, and sinking 75 feet into the sea before Sharkman let go.  Once he releases his touch, the shark resumes and swims off.  The interesting thing about it, is that after he introduces himself with just a small touch, the shark becomes curious, coming back for more.

When he attempted tonic on a great white, he experienced something even more incredible.  The first great white, a 10 foot female, allowed him to use tonic on her for just a moment, sending her into the sleep-like trance.  It was only for a short moment, and afterwards, she swam around him slowly, showing her belly-- a submissive gesture he had never seen before.  About to attempt tonic again, something scared her off.  From beneath them emerged a 15 foot great white, also female.  The Sharkman slowly introduced himself to her by gently stroking her side as she passed him.  She swam back around, accepting him.  He very gently took hold of her dorsal fin, and took a ride.

an expansion of Crayola's 64

Tonight over dinner I decided to come up with new colors, more descriptive and specific than the basic box of 64 by Crayola.  The list we came up with:

Hooker Lips Red

Pale Yellow will now be named "Snow"

Choke-hold Blue

Spank Me Pink

Vericose Purple

Frog Slime Green

Dandruff White

Camel Spit Brown

Eviction Day Black (more of an emotional color)

test tube cows?

Keep in mind, we annually consume 50 pounds more meat per-capita than Americans did in the 1950s. This produces a lot of waste, methane, environmental problems, and obviously high cholesterol. According to an article written a couple months ago by the Green Lantern (illuminating answers to environmental questions), "Raising and slaughtering livestock on a large scale doesn't just result in massive methane emissions... it also creates waste-disposal nightmares, squanders valuable land, and guzzles an alarming amount of fossil fuel. " An alternative, though not completely carbon-neutral, provides an interesting theory: Lab-Grown Meat. Don't get me wrong-- I love steak and burgers and everything else, but did you know:

"According to a study, creating a pound's worth of beef releases the same amount of greenhouses gases—the equivalent of 36.4 pounds of carbon dioxide—as driving a car 155 miles at 50 miles per hour. And that's an underestimate of the industry's total impact, since the study didn't account for emissions from farm equipment or the fuel expended on transporting product from killing floor to supermarket."

Also consider the amount of land needed to produce the massive amounts of feed for cattle. "A cow must consume 7 calories of grain in order to produce a single calorie of beef. And once you factor in the petroleum required to raise that grain—a process that involves the use of synthetic fertilizers...—the ratio of input calories to output zooms to 35 to 1."

How would this work?

"Tomorrow's beef would be grown in bioreactors, filled with a solution consisting primarily of water and glucose. Animal stem cells would be placed in these bioreactors, where their proliferation would be abetted by the presence of growth factors." Not gonna lie, I have no idea what that means, BUT this would save SO much on energy costs compared to the 'raising for slaughterhouses' way we do things now. You won't have to worry about waste management- what do with bones and leftovers you can't use. You won't have to worry about manure contaminating water supplies. Unfortunately, we're still probably decades away from being able to buy lab grown burgers, but it's something to work towards! However, I have to wonder, all of these claims sound familiar. Too much waste, too much energy... oh wait, that's HUMANS! Let's just put everyone in a test tube like ant-farm and then humans will stop ruining the Earth! And then cows can just "rooooaam free.... as free as the wind blows.... as free as the grass grows.... something something...."

nutritional value of gatorade

Meredith: I'm sick.
Me: Have you taken anything? Medicine? Tea?
Meredith: Tylenol Cold & Sinus
Me: Maybe you should have some tea.
Meredith: I don't need need tea, I have gatorade.
Me: Yes but gatorade rocks for hangovers, and sports... You need tea and rest. How about green tea? That's got all kinds of good stuff in there like... vitamins and green things...
Meredith: I don't need it. I have gatorade.
Me: Gatorade is a sugary sports drink. Like Kool-Aid for athletes, that's it!
Meredith: AND ELECTROLYTES!!!


(I always thought Gatorade fought dehydration, hence why it was an awesome hangover necessity.)

Turns out, Meredith was right too.

"Gatorade Thirst Quencher contains a blend of lab-tested electrolytes – sodium, potassium and chloride – to replenish the minerals athletes lose through sweat during exercise and competition. (1, 2, 3) Electrolytes help regulate a number of body functions, and athletes with a substantial electrolyte deficit may experience muscle cramping, heat stress and fatigue. In addition to replacing what is lost through sweat, the electrolytes in Gatorade trigger activation of the body’s thirst mechanism, encouraging athletes to fully hydrate themselves."

bicycle

In a few weeks, I'll be going to the beach with my family- my mom and my brother. I'm really excited because we haven't done anything as a family in a while, and it'll be really good to spend time with my little brother (who is almost 21-- I can't wait!). At any rate, my mother called this morning to ask what we should do while we're at the beach. Now, when I go to the beach, I have a few things that are "must do's". This includes (and don't be disgusted) pistachio ice cream, gyro from Gus&Gus, Thrasher's fries, and Louie's pizza. Outside of that, I have to play the frog bog at Funland until I win something, and I have to ride the big boat that goes up real high, and usually go in the haunted house, and play skiball, of course. This all occurs when I'm not laying on the sand, which is the majority of the day. I wake up, throw on a bathing suit, and walk down to the beach, set up camp, and go back to sleep. I'll wake up to read or sing along quietly to my iPod, or attempt to go in the water and decide it's too cold, walk up to the boardwalk for lunch, and back to my base camp on the sand until about 4:30. At which point, I go back to the house, shower, and start cooking dinner. It's all extremely relaxing and chill and drama-free.

My mom asked what "activities" I'd like to do. She suggested deep sea fishing, which I'm ok with, as long as some giant fish doesn't steal my rod and me being wrapped in fishing line and going overboard and wrestling with some enormous marlin (Nemo's dad was named after this) and then drown and slowly sink to the bottom of the sea and then have my body devoured by hungry sand crabs.

Another suggestions was to bring our bicycles.

Mom: Do you even have a bicycle?

Me: Yea. It's green. Remember how you stole it from me and put that stupid squishy banana seat on it? It's still in your garage.

Mom: Um... No I got a new bike a couple years ago.

Me: That doesn't negate the fact you stole mine first. But that's fine. You can use your bike, and I'll just take mine back.

Mom: I don't think it's in the garage.

Me: Well, it was there last time I checked.

Mom: Ok but I don't think it's there now.

Me: Why? DID YOU GET RID OF IT?!?!

Mom: Well...

Me: You can't just adopt something that's not yours and discard it when you get one of your own! Now I don't have a bike!!!

Mom: Well I'm sorry hunny.

Me: Fiiiine....

*sigh*

The hybrid bike I want: K2 T-9 Crosswind; $400. So pretty...

and the mountain bike I want: Novara Bliss 1.0 on SALE for $640

takes me back...

Once upon a time there was a king who loved cheese but it attracted mice. There were too many mice so the king brought in cats to chase away the mice, but then there were too many cats! So the king brought in dogs to chase away the cats, and then lions to chase away the dogs, and then elephants to chase away the lions, and then had to bring back the mice to chase away the elephants. The mice wanted to stay, so the king decided to share his cheese with the mice.

The End.

Don't ya just FEEL the warm fuzzies???

for the next present-giving holiday...

The NERF NSTRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 YELLOW is an "awesome, fully automatic dart cannon!" Fires at a rate of up to three darts per second! Dart refills sold separately. Please budget to include an extra pack with the N-Strike Vulcan. Thank you. :P

BRIDGE

Everything is starting to come together! Today, I was contacted by the BRIDGE Volta Office to begin the logistics for my trip to Ghana. So excited! Friday I'll be getting my yellow fever vaccine, and getting the rest of my vaccines in the next few weeks. Next step is to book my flight, and then I can apply for my visa with the Ghanaian Embassy (conveniently located in DC). BRIDGE helps build sustainable village-based organizations in Ghana so groups are better equipped to reduce poverty. I can't wait to see what the assignment will be, but I wish it was 2 months from now already!!!

hydropolis

The world's first luxury underwater hotel was planned to open originally last year, off the coast of Dubai. I wanna know, why the hell it's not open yet, because I wanna go!!!

For more information, visit Hydropolis.com but the web site is flash-freaking annoying.

waterworld

I've mentioned before that I really don't need a lot of space. In today's real estate market, that is a VERY good thing. Honestly, I briefly considered living in a trailer. I think it's great! Completely affordable, just my size, AND I'm such an indecisive person and if I felt like living somewhere else, I just pick up and go! It's so convenient! Well, I'm a pisces. The alternative is so much more fun!

Inspired by: Captain Conrad

www.nataliedee.com

Houseboats I would LOVE to live in:


Little less "Swiss Family Robinson" a little more modern:


Funny looking, but still clearly in my price range:

Mission Control, can you hear me???? The Jetsons go subsurface. The Jellyfish 45 model (last) is actually a design available to real life people (i.e. not the Jetsons). But this first one is my dream house.

By Popular Demand: The Jellyfish 45 is within reach.
*drumroll* $2.5 million.

"Jelly-fish 45, designed by Giancarlo Zema is a floating dwelling unit for up to six persons. It's spacious dimensions are 10 metres high with a diameter of over 15 metres. The Jelly-fish 45 would be ideally situated in sea parks, atolls, bays and seas rich in flora and fauna. The Jelly-fish 45 allows the sea dwelling owners to live either above or below sea level in perfect harmony with the ocean environment.

It consists of five levels connected by a spiral staircase. The top level is 5.6 metres above the sea level and has been kept for study rooms. The next lower level is situated at 3.5 metres above the sea level and contains the night time zone while the next lower level at 1.4 metres contains the daytime zone with a kitchen and bathrooms. The lowest living level at 0.8 metres above the sea level is semi-submerged and has been kept for
the guest room, bathroom and technical spaces."

For more extreme houseboat designs,

go to Web Urbanist.

marco's baby

Friday night, Marco (our dishwasher at the bar) had a little baby girl! His wife called to say she was in labor, and after convincing Marco that he should leave work to go to the hospital, (Dan stepped in as the temporary dishwasher-- only to surface at the end of the night to say that Marco is extremely underpaid), Marco headed off to see his daughter being born. Steve (one of the owners of the bar) offered his credit card for any expenses like a taxi ride home, food, etc. Marco, put the credit card on the hospital payment form... the bill for having a baby in a hospital is around $15,000 without insurance.

Steve: "I own that baby now. 14 years... they better be next to Marco washin dishes!"

new project

My dad (cool guy) introduced me to rock climbing a few years ago. I loved it! I still need to get my own climbing shoes, but other than that, we have all the gear. We're planning a family vacation for next year to hike the Inca Trail and climb Machu Picchu- me, my brother, my dad, his girlfriend, and a girl she knows to be our guide. I'm super excited!

click for larger view

I think in general, I lucked out. My dad is definitely one of a kind, and I've contracted some of his strange habits, that I'll admit- come in handy from time to time. For instance, my OCD like tendencies to compile intricate spreadsheets for any plan or idea keeps me organized. A paper clip clasping the inner bag of triscuits in the box keeps the triscuits fresh. And folding plastic grocery bags into a neat little rectangle and placing them stacked in the kitchen drawer is clean, handy, and kinda pretty when you open the drawer to look at them.

He also went through some stages in life that proved fun for the rest of us. When I was 10, he started roller blading, which was cool because he wanted to go to the skating rink as much as I did! He entered my brother and I (and him) in 5K races for inline skating. When my brother was into gocart racing and asked how much race tracks make, my dad made him figure it out (a lot of money, btw). Which made an impression on Steven making him want to own a race track. Don't know if he still does, but it's a possibility! When Steven was into model trains, my dad converted literally HALF of our living room into a train layout for Steven's trains. Later, my dad got into sailing, so he got his sailing license, and bought a boat. Later, he decided he liked kayaking so he now has 2 kayaks to take on his camping trips. He began a project to re-scan old photos and decided that it would work better if he built an 8 ft long contraption to place on top of the dining room table to actually photograph each old photo. At least that was more fun than sitting at the computer with a scanner. He built a gun range in his basement, shooting over the tarped pool table and into the targets strategically placed in the closet.

Usually when people I know need to live with their parents, or move back home, they dread it. I am honestly looking forward to moving back into the functional funhouse. I get to live in the basement- next to the shooting range, after he cleans the bullet shrapnel from the tub down there. I'll have the entire basement! My own bathroom, a pool table, 2 really comfy leather couches and a cool table made from a ship steering wheel. You might be wondering, what more could she want? Well. My dad and I have a new project.

Too many people are concerned with "decorating" their house while overlooking some decorations that could be functional, and fun, and a conversation piece to say the least. You know the foyer in a house? A large, open area reaching the ceiling of the second floor in most cases. Well, it's pretty bare, and boring. We're going to build a climbing wall to take over the foyer, and boulder underneath the stairs! HELL YEA! And if we were concerned with matching the living room decor, the last picture below might be a suitable plan...

my job's purpose

I honestly use my day job as my "waking up" activity. That's where I go to have breakfast, get my coffee, plan my week, pay my bills online, check my email, blog... obviously. I use the entire day to wake up, to prepare myself for working at night.

Tonight should be interesting, by the way. At the restaurant, tonight is the first night we will be charging a $10 cover. No one will be required to purchase any food or drink. This is an additional $10... not applied to your check. So for all our regulars who come for dinner and drinks, it just got twice as expensive, which leaves them with less money for tipping. In today's economy, I think it's a little bold. And... for those people who are there just for the music, do I have to bring them water? Because no one is going to tip you for bringing water. They can bring their own bottle of water.

Last week, there were WAY too many servers- 5 for 1 room. I made half of what I did the week before. It's not worth it. And the clientele don't care. They will either tip well (15%) or not (5-10% or sometimes just $1), and that's what they decide when they walk in the door. They could have the best or the shittiest service, and still will tip whatever percentage they usually tip. Therefore, have less servers, maybe not the best service, but people will still get their food and drink, and servers will make money. It was good with 3 servers. If things were busy, you dealt with it. More servers mean less money for me. Another few nights with just $50 and I think I'll be done when I come back from Ghana. We'll see.

Rita's

Yesterday I went to Rita's with the fam for some dessert. I had Italian Ice- half peach, half coconut. The coconut was awesome! The "ice" is not like your normal snow cone or Italian Ice you've had elsewhere. The ice is shaved so thin, it's almost... creamy. It's so good. Perfect summer night treat.

Quiz Yourself

There are certain things that everyone should know, including basic geography of your country, some main presidents, most of the European countries, etc. I have been taking a few quizzes this morning and have found that I know most of the U.S. states, but not their location- almost none of the U.S. capitals, and only 1/4 of European countries, and almost half of the U.S. presidents. However, I am really good at the quiz for Batman Villains, and the Fellowship of the Ring. Don't laugh.

Movie Review: Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

It's been a while since I've seen a movie where I've laughed out loud almost the entire way through. This is not a movie I would have chosen to see on my own, but it was the entertainment highlight of a flight to Colorado back in March. I highly recommend this movie for anyone wanting a pick-me-up and a reminder to stay young. "I don't know how to catch a lemur! I'm 9!!!"

Movie Review: Jumper

Reminiscent of X-Men but lacking something… too short, not enough characters, it was weird. It was, however, set up at the end for a sequel. In my opinion, it’s more appropriate to be a miniseries or TV show instead of a movie. Gotta love Rachel Bilson though!

cheeseball intollerant

It has come to my attention that I can't handle all foods like most people. For instance, I'm lactose intollerant. Also, I get sick if I have Taco Bell or KFC. I can't handle the grease and fat, honestly my stomach rejects it. Similar issues with chains like Outback or Longhorn (the same place as far as I'm concerned...) etc. Why is this an issue? Well, it's not. I've learned to live with it, and I'm sure I'll thank my stomach later when I'm not 300lbs. I do love fruit and fresh veggies, and I go to Whole Foods every week. As I sit here and eat my afternoon snack of organic carrot sticks (the chizzeled version of reject carrots, as we've learned from my post about the origin of baby carrots) I'm thinking about cheeseballs. The UTZ bag of cheeseballs will make me sick. Solution: Pirate Booty!

No, I'm not referring to "aye matey" dirty sex on a pirate ship with a peg-legged parrot owner with an eye patch. I'm referring to organic cheeseballs! Tasty, and GOOD FOR YOU!

You may be wondering, what to do with the bag of UTZ cheeseballs sitting in your kitchen.

www.nataliedee.com