the dentist

This afternoon, I will be sitting in a dentist chair. I have (like most people) a phobia of dental professionals. People lie to me. When I was in first grade, my father promised that we were just going to the dentist so they could "take a look," and then we were going to schedule ANOTHER appointment, to actually have my teeth pulled from my jaw. Well. I trusted him, so I crawled out from underneath the coffee table, and agreed to solemnly visit the dentist. And THEN they pulled my freakin teeth! I was 18 when I went to the dentist, by myself, and they told me I was there for sealants. For those of you who don't know, here's a quick lesson: dental sealants are applied by bonding plastic resin (the dental sealant) into the grooves of a tooth to prevent tooth decay. I had a deep groove. Groovy. Bring on the sealants. But NO! I get there, and they start talking to each other in their abbreviated dentist language: "Bring me the DXJ and the 4.8 LWH and apply the DWXBVF." Or something to that effect. I ask again... "I'm here for sealants, right?" They assure me, yes, I was about to get sealants. And they whip out the drill! And gave me a FILLING!!! Not only was this a flat out lie, and completely unnecessary, I would like to point out that in my entire life, I have NEVER had a cavity!

That being said, I stopped trusting dentists, and every 2 years I will go for a check up with a completely new dentist who has never met me before. This way, they have to try to make a good 1st impression on me, because no matter where I go, I'm a brand new customer. I brush my teeth twice a day, I floss and use Listerine every night. It works for me. I have healthy teeth. I'm an advocate for good dental hygiene. I figure since my insurance is about to run out, I should probably just go and get a check up, and then probably by the time the next 2 years roll around, I'll have insurance again. I wonder if this dentist today will have flavored latex gloves... They had those at career day for dental professionals in middle school.